


Thumbing the Line Between Good and Nought

by aluminiumalloy



Series: What's Nought To Do? [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, Slow Build, world building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 04:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4652697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aluminiumalloy/pseuds/aluminiumalloy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How many times can you fight for people, when all they do in return is leave?<br/>How long does it take for a person to break?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Okay, The Terrible, And The Absent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **There was no reason to go back. On the other hand there was no remaining reason not to. Nought had spent months tracking down her father, searching through settlements proclaiming themselves to be cities, grasping at broken straws, and following stale leads. She had found him. She had him. Had a look back at those times of her childhood, where she could pal around with her dad and live like the daughter she was. But, once more, she had lost him. The only consolation was that he said goodbye this time, the ass.**

When Nought had left the vault, she had been broken. Harshly.

The morning of the incident, Nought awoke to a shaken Amata. There had been no other time in her life where Nought had the opportunity to read how extreme stress and worry projected themself through a body. The few times her father managed to become overworked, he hid his distaste because he knew the benefits life in a vault had brought him, and he and Jonas got along fluidly. Fewer times did Nought allow her friend to become riddled with it, always having a cool down session of pranks on or revolving around the local gang, chats that quickly merged into spiels of lighthearted complaints, or periods of silence to calm Amata down. Just as she did for them, they did for her, and it was only now that such intense negativity became apparent to her.

Nought didn't like the way this unknown and sudden anxiety colored and streched the face of one of the handful of people she cared about in her underground home, and one of the three she loved.  
Immediately, she tried to play it off. It's said humor is the best medicine, isn't it?  
"I was just dreaming of you,"  


There was no give in her immediate response, Amata just steered the conversation to why she had so abruptly appeared in Nought's bedroom, and all signs led away from fun.  
When the words from her closest friends' lips came rushing out, they fell on deaf ears, and shattered against the floor.

"Come on, you've got to wake up! Jonas is dead, they killed him oh god they killed him, your dad left and they beat him,"

"What?"  
Nought wanted to add more, wanted to question more. _This wasn't real_ , she felt herself breathe in and it felt wrong. _This can't be real_. Amata was always bad at setting up pranks, but had a decent enough grip on jokes; this was far removed from any possibility of laughable, and her tone was too raw for this to not be honest.  
It wasn't lining up. Nought's head was still fuzzy, her vision still blurred from sleep, none of this could really be happening. How _could_ it be happening?

"I said GET UP! We need to get you out of here, my father's ordered that you be brought in, but the guards aren't looking to take you in handcuffs," she lowered her voice, breaking her gaze, "They have this bodybag type of look in their eyes." Nought felt fear. She didn't know what to do with it, so she did nothing. She let herself get yanked off the bed and onto her feet.  


_How could she be faced with a reality where her best friend said her father suddenly disappeared, and that her only other friend was murdered? How was anyone supposed to make sense of that in their pajamas?_ She stood still in shock.  


Amata was mumbling to herself as she grabbed Nought's old duffle bag from her floor, strewing its contents haphazardly about.  
"Help me here! I know this is bad but I'm not letting you die here either!" Amata was picking up the baseball bat that was on Nought's desk and shoving in into the duffle bag, along with handfuls of clothes from her dresser drawers and whatever else seemed valuable enough in her eyes to warrant use.  
Thoughtlessly, Nought shoved her feet into her boots, and threw her 101 jumpsuit over her pajamas. By the time Nought had gotten her zipper halfway up, Amata had deemed the bag to be sufficiently full, and closed it. It was lightly packed, but garnered enough weight to feel important.  


"I already put your bb gun in the bag, but here's a pistol I swiped from my dad's office," She seemed uncomfortable at it's presence. "In case you need more oompf."  
She wouldn't acknowledge it's purpose further.  


Amata was putting the strap of the duffle bag over Nought's shoulder, Nought shuffled herself around to aid in the process, but remained silent.  
"Sorry I only grabbed an extra clip, but hopefully you don't need it in here," All the words sounded strange at that point, there was no reason for Nought to think of the implication Amata made at the end of her spiel.  
Amata was wheeling Nought out of her room, and it was only then that Nought found the drive to un-stick her tongue from the roof of her mouth.  


"No."  


Nought had shoved away from Amata's grip, and doubled back to her bed.  
"Nought, what the hell are you doin-"  
Nought had turned, taking up the precious time she had left of safety in the Vault to grab the teddy bear tangled in her bedsheet.  
Amata managed to hold back her remarks as Nought slid her duffle bag down from her back to put the bear inside. Amata knew better than to push her friend further.  


"Thanks for the help so far, but where am I supposed to go now?"  
Amata took this as an exposition opportunity to showcase her plan.  
"So you know the terminal in my dad's office? I hacked it. Well, I don't know if it really counts as hacking persay..."

Amata coughed, getting herself back on subject, and grabbed Nought's hand to lead out into the hallway and guide her towards their destination.  
"There's an escape tunnel under that huge ugly desk of his. The password is my name, what a sucker."  
Nought was unsettled to hear the flippancy of her remark, as the very same man was the one behind the death warrant on her own head.  
"I'm going to run and see if I can distract or throw off any guards I come across, but you need to get yourself to that tunnel and get out of here."

Nought blanched.

"I. I have to leave the vault?" Amata had said get out, but Nought figured she meant lay low, just had to get somewhere safe for the time being, wait it out until things settled enough to figure what was happening. She thought maybe she could stay with Stanley, now that Jonas was.... no longer available. She didn't want to think about that now, or ever. She couldn't have matched her goal of safety with the destination of _outside_.  


Amata stopped, dropping Nought's hand. She didn't turn to face her when she spoke.  
"Yes."  


Nought's grabbed the other girl's shoulder and turned her around. The worry Nought had seen on her face earlier was gone, as a sort of grim determination took it's place.  
"You have to get out of here, and I don't know if you can come back. Your dad did something big. He left, but that can't be the only reason things are like this now. You get out of here, go catch up with him, and either you find out what he did and fix it, or you just keep that pretty little head of yours safe. Either way, out there is better for you than in here."

Nought's throat clenched hard. She removed her touch, and felt her voice strain to reply.  


"Thank you Amata." In the middle of the chaos, the hallways and rooms flooded with the wails of the sirens, Nought paused.  
"If you can, please make sure Jonas gets my regards and has a funeral worthy of him." There was no time for tears, no bits of her mind left uncommitted to the battle she had ahead.  
"Just be sure that you don't join him. Catch you at the gate?"  
"Mmm."  


With a nod, the two girls hooked pinkies. They released and turned, setting off on their own paths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a handful of things:  
> Nought is her name, she's a neutral karma lone wanderer, it's said "not", it's kind of a joke name and also a punch in the gut.  
> p.s. i hope you sometimes get the joy of reading Nought as Nougat.  
> for the 3 people LW loves- her father, amata, and jonas, all platonically.  
> There is some amount of romantic and sexual attraction between her and Amata, but that's more of subtext, will become clearer later on.  
> Those are the three dwellers that hold great significance to our LW currently.  
> current chapter name is a joke of an allusion to 'the good the bad and the ugly'
> 
> the notes at the beginning are the main point of this fic, the handful of first chapters are working up and towards that point.
> 
> PLEASE! feel free to leave a comment, this is my first fallout fic, and I'd LOVE some constructive criticism.
> 
>  
> 
> I plan on this being a series, and I am thinking about making art for it too, will update further. Should have a couple more parts out in a few days time.  
> probably will change the title. a lot. give me ideas if you've got any! recs for title and chapter are so appreciated :^}
> 
> <3 the author


	2. It's funny, four's her favorite number.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about high time that this kid get outta here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things never get easier.  
> Why would they?  
> Where's the fun it that.

After their separation, Nought immediately ran into her first hurdle.  
"DIE YOU COCKROACHES!"  
Officer Kendall, was panicking, surrounded by the bugs. He'd long since abandoned his baton in favor of his pistol. Had there been a way around, Nought didn't know if she could have taken it.

Nought whipped out the bat from her bag, Kendall hadn't noticed her yet, he was caught up in his own struggle. The first bug Nought crushes catches Kendall off guard, and he missed his next two shots, emptying his clip.  
Quickly he re-holstered and swapped to his baton, his stance unfavorable. No words are exchanged as the two finish off the bugs. 

Kendall bled from his legs badly, which was why Nought believes he made the bad judgement to switch back to his gun. 

"Don't move, you're done here." Nought gripped her bat, knowing the gun was empty but the man behind it was still very much a threat. She froze when Officer Kendall pulls the trigger.  
His confusion at having forgotten to reload gave her the chance to make the first move. As Kendall's hand reached for the baton stowed on his belt, Nought swings hard, aimed for his head.

Paul had been the best batter on the team, but Nought had always given him a run for his money. One.

Nought's breath is ragged as she pulls the bulletproof vest from Kendall's bloody corpse. She didn't try to remove his helmet, it was caved in enough to be worthless, let alone now blended with his skull.  
Searching his pockets, she grabs the extra clip for his 10mm, and stows away the gun as well. She felt sick.

Nought's breaths grew more forced. With the thick vest on, every new item she pocketed had her pack droop lower. She was lagging behind how fast she should be. Amata would be waiting.

That didn't stop her from finding more delays, however.  
This time, it wasn't shouts, but screams Nought heard. She tried to hide by turning and darting down a different hallway, but was grabbed from behind.  
She was spun, but pleasantly surprised to find not the helmet of another security officer, but the jutting coif of Butch DeLoria.  
She was impressed that she could find any comfort in that boy's face, though the fact he found solace in her bloodied state was just as shocking.

"Nought, you gotta help! My mom's trapped, she's drunk, and there are so many roaches, you gotta save her!"  
The instant strain of empathy- an utter desire to stop anyone from living a pain similar to her own from losing Jonas- mixed with the absolute lack of time to waste had her shoving her trusty bb gun to Butch, and slapping him into shape and sense enough to head back himself.  
Butch wouldn't let her leave without taking his Tunnel Snake leather jacket, so she quickly shoved it in the empty space that had just housed her gun, and set off. Behind her, distance washed out the screams, but not before shouts were added. She prayed that was a good change.

Nought ran into the diner next to hide behind the bar, choosing to battle the two roaches inside instead of whomever the approaching sounds of footsteps belonged to. Once the officer's footfalls fell out of range, Nought climbed over the bar to continue towards the Overseer's office. Stepping down from the stool, she slipped. Looking down, she saw she had slid on the laminate tile because of Grandma Taylor's hair.  
She picked up her foot and replaced it further from the body of the elderly woman. Nought closed the old woman's eyes before rushing out.

Nought neared the Clinic now, but it felt utterly surreal. In her distraction, Officer Gomez exited, smelling of gunpowder, and ran into her. She jolted but Gomez clamped his free hand onto her arm. He had a strong grip. Couple with her dismay at the prospect of killing again, she was kept in place.  
"Listen, you need to leave. We're supposed to bring you in, but I don't know what the hell's happening here, and there are already enough bodies. I liked you and your dad, now do me a favor and scram, 'cause I don't think I can handle adding a dead kid to the list."  
A small smile of gratitude washed onto her face, and Nought nodded. At least one of the role models from her past held up.  
Officer Gomez turned to leave, and Nought made her way into the clinic.

"Kid! What are you doing here and where's your dad!" Stanley was walking through the door of her father's office, quickening his pace towards Andy to verify that it was alright. Nought remained silent, but Stanley seemed to have forgotten his question when his focus shifted to the robot.  
"Was that you who helped Andy here kill those roaches?" Before Nought could answer that it must have been Gomez, Stanley thanked her anyway. 

Keeping her silence, Nought rushed into the office and grabbed the bobble-head from her dad's desk. As she stowed it in her bag, she glanced over the computer's recent entries quickly, in hopes of finding a clue to where her father could have headed.

Nought turned, leaving the clinic headed for the Atrium, her chest tightening in worry for the safety of herself, her father, and Amata. 

Reaching the main room of the Atrium, Nought slowed down. She heard the Holden's saying they'd out of here, and watched in horror as they headed down the hallway leading to the gate and fell, riddled with bullets.  
She held her breath as she tried to cross the atrium without being seen.

She failed.

She heard Officer O'Brien and officer Richards shout, and sprinted towards the stairs, ducking underneath the partly closed door. As the two turned out of the hall, Nought kicked the locker out of the door frame, letting the pneumatics shut it securely. The door was sealed so tightly, she almost couldn't hear the shouts of O'Brien saying what he planned to do when he caught her. Almost. 

Heading up the stairs, Nought was grateful to see the door that lead across the atrium's second level was open. She was not pleased to see Officer O'Brien through the slits in the floor's metal grating, still banging and shouting at the door below. It seemed that Richards had returned to his post at the end of the hallway. Retreating into the corridor, she pulled her handgun from her bag. Her bat would be worthless at this distance.

Lining up the barrel with the top of O'Brien's head, she held her breath and pulled. Blood splattered onto the underside of the metal flooring, obscuring her view of the corpse. The sound of the gun firing didn't immediately draw Richards nearer, but when there was no response after he called for his partner, Nought ran across the walkway before he could investigate further. Two.

Nought drowned out the shouts for 'Guards!' from the dweller behind his window by closing the door as she entered the security hub room. In her hurry to avoid Officer Richards, Nought found herself staring down Security Chief Hannon. She felt very ill now. He charged at her and all she could think was that this was all too fast. She emptied her clip into his legs, and when he fell, she kicked his baton across the floor. He grabbed her foot, then, and she panicked. She kicked his face twice, the front of her boot fitting through the front of his helmet, crushing the visor. He laid slack, as the blood from his legs pooled outward. Three.

She saw the body of Floyd Lewis and shuddered. She wasn't sure whether the roaches got him, or Hannon did. She decided she didn't want to know.

Running into the administration hall, Nought screeched to a stop. There were voices coming from the security cell. Nought slid down and inched along the ground, below the window.

"Be reasonable, Amata," the voice of the Overseer was soft but clearly audible. That bastard's voice always did carry. "Officer Mack may enjoy this, but I don't." There was the sharp sound of flesh on flesh collision. Heat rushed up into Nought's stomach. All the queasiness she had been feeling solidified into dead weight. Unable to resist the urge, Nought peeked through the window, and saw the backs of the two men's heads pointed down as Amata spat onto the floor. "Just tell us where to find your friend, so we can _talk_ to her." There was a tinny laugh, too high pitched to belong to either of the men present, but it felt so foreign to Nought. She reloaded her pistol.

"Like hell I will. You don't even fucking know _how_ to talk, do you?" Though not the first time, the wit and mouth on that girl worried Nought endlessly. Amata paused as Nought heard the sound of another strike. " I know what you did to Jonas, _Officer_ Mack, you're not going to get to do that again."

Four.

Before she processed it, Nought had stood, smashed the door open button and shot four holes through the uncovered skin of Officer Mack's neck, right below his helmet. As his body crashed down, she turned her gun to the Overseer. 

"I've got eight more bullets in this," it was an offer more-so than a threat. Amata gasped, she was shaking her head. How she still cared for this shit stain was incomprehensible. "You dare to think about hurting her again, I will hear about it, and I will _slaughter_ you with the same sick pleasure your no-longer walking friend got from waving his fists around." She pointed to the twitching body of Officer Mack.

"I admire your protective instincts... I give you my word that Amata will not suffer further because of your actions." Every word that slithered out of that man's mouth made Nought shake. _This is **not** my fault. None of this happened because of me_. She nodded curtly and holstered her gun.

Amata let out the air she had been holding in. 

"Now then. If you really care about Amata, you will see how dangerous your father's actions were. Hand over your weapons," This man was unbelievable. Nought was covered in blood, and had just murdered a high standing official. Everyone was blaming her for the hell that was suddenly released onto the vault, who the hell would she have fighting in her corner? "There's no need to join your father as a traitor to the Vault."

There was a conscious deliberation in the slamming of her elbow into his jaw. The impact threw him off-balance, and he fell sideways, knocking his head on the edge of the window. He groaned, but lay otherwise motionless.

"Dad!" Amata reached towards him.  
"He's still breathing, he's probably unconscious."  
"Probably? What sort of consolation is that?" Amata's voice was thick with conflicting emotions. Nought thought she heard anger mixed with joy.  
"I'm surprised I had enough control not to shoot him. He'll be fine. Not so sure about Mackie." Nought grabbed Officer Mack's helmet, lifting his head up slightly. When the chin strap broke, Mack's head slammed back onto the ground, and Amata vocalised her disgust. Nought put the helmet, only slightly damp with red, onto her own head.

"I'll leave him to you, I'll wait by the vault door."  
As Nought made her way to the Overseer's office, she caught sight of Jonas' body. She kneeled down to shut his eyes, pressing a solemn kiss to his still warm forehead, and pretended not to feel the malformed and broken skull beneath. As she swept by, she grabbed his undamaged glasses from his desk.

In the office, she raided the two lockers and downloaded the files on the computer to her pipboy. She then opened the tunnel and watched in amazement as the desk shifted and raised to expose the hidden passage. She stomped the lone roach in her path, and numbly flipped the switch to open the door to the vault entrance- and subsequent exit. 

As she pulled the handle to open the tremendous metal door, Amata caught up to her.  
"Nought!"  
The fear filling Nought's chest lessened, if only slightly.  
"Oh thank god, are you okay Amata?"  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, are you?"  
Taking a nod and a look-over as enough, Amata rushed on, "We don't have much time, just, just come here for a second,"  
Amata grabbed Nought and pulled her close, hugging her tightly.

There were tears flowing down Nought's front.  
"You were my best friend,"  
Nought fought back her own, realising the meaning of her tense.  
"Come with me Amata, please, I can't do this alone, I'm scared." Her voice was raw and whiny. She didn't care.  
Amata hiccuped hard as she stammered back, "I can't. I have to fix what my dad's done, just like you have to, too. I want to, oh god I want to get out of here Nought, I do, but," Nought thought she heard fear to match her own in that voice.

Both girls were crying. Nought leaned down to press their lips together, but Amata pushed away, her eyes facing the metal grating below.  
"Nought, I'm so sorry, I am, but I can't go with you,"  
"Amata, I lo-"  
The door behind them opened, and Nought pushed Amata away hard as the officer raised his pistol. She started to turn towards the exit, but couldn't avoid the officer's shell. The bullet planted itself into the Kevlar vest and forced the air from her lungs.  
The security officer was taken aback, apparently stunned at having actually shot at the girl. His surprise, coupled with Amata's screams gave Nought the window to burst out of the door and into the connected cave. Mere feet from the door, the metallic creaking behind her had Nought spinning in place. Before the giant door sealed itself back up, Nought saw Amata's face, carved deep by tears but set in stone none-the-less. Her lips opened and tumbled out one last word.

"Goodbye,"

Nought wiped her eyes, turned to the rickety door and steeled herself as she pushed it open.  
Nought stepped out and squinted, blinded by the intensity of the light of the Wasteland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank! You!  
> This part seems to be much longer, I debated putting it into two chapters, but I decided to get the vault done with. 
> 
> If you're wondering why the first two chapters have been in past tense, it should be made clear in the coming chapter!
> 
> the next bits will be more focused on Nought herself, and traveling and surviving the wastes. let me know if you want me to do some different points of view, or hear about the quickening developments in the post wanderer vault!
> 
> <3 the author


End file.
